Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards
The ironic tragedy of life is that it has to be lived forwards but makes sense only in the reverse!!
The above was a conversation between Chris Williamson and Matthew McConaughey, from a podcast episode on the YouTube Channel Modern Wisdom. To this, Matthew says Who was it that said that? It was Søren Kierkegaard who framed this quote, “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards”. Let's build on this quote that Kierkegaard gave to us!!
The Pierre Gasly example from one of my previous blogs, where I touched on the theme, “Not all who wander are lost”, aptly suits the idea of “Living life in the forward direction, but it finally makes sense in hindsight”. Now the fact that we have used that already, let us cook up something new. If you haven’t read “Not all who wander are lost”, do check it out!!
Click here to read more - “Not all who wander are lost”
The pieces of life get arranged up as and when we progress ahead. The rise of China now as a force that challenges the likes of the USA is a good example that we can consider. While the cold war between US and USSR kept on brewing on the debate of which ideology is better, China took a leaf from the books of both nations. While the USSR disintegrated in 1991, China is still a major name in regards to the ideology of communism. So, what did they do better? Deng Xiaoping, former leader of the Chinese Party, had understood that the only way to survive this battle of ideologies was to win economically. His decisions were seen as a contrast by both the communist and capitalist blocs of USSR and US, but Deng’s vision was up to something innovative. He started to create a capitalist economy within a communist ideological setup, where the public sector companies started to play the role of big corporate giants. You all read about the success and craze for electric vehicles, right now, right? One of the components within it is Cobalt. Well, did you know that China bought a huge number of Cobalt mines in the DRC in the decades of 2000 and 2010s itself? Wouldn’t have made much sense back in that stage of time, but see the dividends China holds now, as BYD successfully competes against Tesla and other electric vehicles(not only that, their timely investment in rare earth minerals has allowed them to build a near monopoly in that sector). A step in a direction from the 1980s to the prowess China is building now, goes a long way to display that, “Life has to be lived forward, but it will make sense only in the retrospective effect”.
This figure clearly shows that not only China dominates in the reserves but also the production and mining of rare earth elements
There is a very good analogy that we can build up here to once again reiterate on the quote, “The only way out is through”!!
One of the best real life examples from the world of diplomacy that I can interlink with the above discussion
It's the decade of 1980s, and political chaos is brewing in India. We have just witnessed the 1984, Operation Blue Star, which had hurt sentiments of a big section within India, and just after couple of months later, the Prime Minister of India, Indira Gandhi, was assassinated by her own bodyguards. It's the year 1986 now, and the last of the sections of Khalistani separatists are still inside the Golden Temple. The responsibility for the Operation Black Thunder rested now in the hands of one and only “Mr. Ajit Doval”, who confirms in an interview that “Operation Blue Star” could have been handled in a much better way than what it turned out to be. With the intelligence and the skill set of a master diplomat he was, Ajit Doval made sure that the entire operation was conducted smoothly without any firings and direct action. He acted as a spy inside during that operation. In an interview he jokingly quoted for how the operation went, “I didn’t thought about the toughness and complexities when I was during the operation just wanted the job to be done, but when I finally came back to my home, it was then when I realised on may be something bad might would have come about”. This goes on to re affirm the idea that the “only way out is through”. If your mind juggles from one position of stress to another in the complex web of maybe, you are never gonna get your results!!
Let’s talk about the idea of being in the moment more here.
Attention and inspiration are too short lived an emotion.
quoted in one of his discussions on a podcast, “The most valuable thing in life isn’t time but rather the attention that you give to a thing”. The moment you divert your attention towards something which is not delivering purpose and sense, there will be a wave of awe and overwhelm.
“Happiness is the state when nothing is missing. When nothing is missing, your mind shuts down and stops running into the past or future to regret something or to plan something” — Naval Ravikant
Such a key element by Naval here. We are often so tense in our daily lives, there is a beautiful sunset on the horizon to view, but we are fixated on the fact that 7–10 minutes more of a delay and I might not get that seat in the metro. We are chasing and chasing, our attentions move from one thing to another, and it is at what end? A. You neither got the full experience of the sunset, and B. When you are in the metro and going through your phone, there’s someone who has posted a photo of that sunset, so now you are again sad because you didn’t took the photo!!
In the age of doomscrolling your attention span might have become much worse than even a goldifsh!!
Osho adds a very nice comment on this, “People think their lives are all sad and gloomy, but forget to understand that god did offer them some good choices, but they wish to ignore them and fixate on something else”.
Let’s take a small dig on why we tend to fixate on the past and rush towards the future
My opinion here lies in the fact of a two fold issue. One is the lack of confidence within due to the mistakes of the past, and the other is the element of uncertainty for the future.
We commit mistakes, often too many, and when that realisation hits to us, we tend to be sometimes too harsh on ourselves. What this leads to is the creation of a tyrant within. Imagine having a friend who always says that, “You are not up to any good, you are just a mess”. Well, guess what, you are that friend to yourself only when you keep on shutting down the inner child of yours who wants to enjoy the present. The constant reinforcement not only depletes your energy and zeal but also makes you too afraid of making a step, “What if I stutter again when the teacher asks me a question?”, “What if I get again rejected by this new girl?”, “What if I again get mocked for my choice of fashion?”. Problems are often not that big of a trouble we sometimes make them out to be, but because we think the cat in front of us is actually a lion, we miss out on so many good things that we could have done only if we had a bit of confidence. That girl you see in the lift every day, or the old man that greets you at the counter, why not have a chat with them finally and see what happens??
This quote by George Mack really goes on to show what you can actually achieve if you just had some more confidence
Over to the uncertainty of the future. I know and you know that it is a highly competitive world, and a lot of things have been happening around. The geopolitical front has been the most unstable in so many years, with the war in Gaza, and an imminent threat of Chinese invasion to Taiwan, the supply chains across the world are being impacted. With also the return of President Trump to the White House and a wave of right wing politics rising across the world, as we see more and more conservative and nationalist parties gaining popularity post COVID-19, there are uncertainties for the people who earlier wished to transition abroad. The competition is growing each day as the skills of AI increase with every passing time, jobs like those of a call centre service, or someone who used to build a code, are being very quickly replaced by AI. So, yes, the times are growing up to a chaotic turn. But isn’t it what has always happened, didn’t you survive the last breakup you had when you thought I can’t go on any more, didn’t you secure that job despite thinking that there were too few seats? If I go in the past a more, didn’t our forefathers defeated the mighty British empire which boasted that, “Sun never sets on the British empire”, or if I go some years more back, didn’t France finally become a republic after all the chaos from the Reign of Terror to Napoleonic wars to the Revolts of 1830s and 1848. Things do become stable for sure. You ask, how? Well, it's not that things become easier, but you become stronger(Let’s keep the suggestions to grow and becoming better for the end of the blog now!!).
FYI, this is an AI generated pic based on the text I wrote above :)
So what can we do to be in the present, and in retrospect reflect back and learn?
Retrospection is something that is surely needed if we need to grow and improve. You are shaped by the most recent mistake you have made. There is a lesson/beating by the mistake that you have done, mind my words, there is a lesson, not falling into a regret cycle. When you indulge in a regret shame cycle, you let a snowball of a mistake to turn into an avalanche of disasters to come by, “a one bad meeting, leads to bad gym, bad dinner, screaming at wife, indulgence in alcohol”. Put a stop to the regret and shame right when the conscious goes on a downward spiral. But how? You first need to understand where these emotions come from. Keep in mind the words, I said, “understood”, not “improve”.
Be cautious as you move through your mistakes
To become better, as the Salovey model states, is to first you need an “Understanding and Perception of Emotions”. First, you identify the emotions you feel, then you differentiate between the emotions that you come across, based on that, you understand what your emotions display or what you make out of the situation, and it's then when you finally manage your emotions. Bit complex, a simple example coming up!!
Salovey’s model on EI
PS: I had already tested the Goolemon model of EI in earlier blogs so I thought to experiment with the Salovey one, a message to all to be bold and try some new things :)
To put it as a test, “You had a bad meeting”, now you perceive your emotion is of “anger and shame”, as your ears are red and your eyes become hazy when you reach your gym. Now you have the options of “shouting and screaming” at the receptionist or the option of taking out all of your “anger” on the kickboxing equipment. Now you try to understand that your emotional stance at first choice might lead to you losing your gym membership, and the second option leading to some unnecessary injury. It's then when you can finally manage your emotions well. To put a one liner to this, “The first step out of poverty is to accept you are poor” — Alex Hormozi.
On to the concluding remarks
I say you should trust on the timings. I've got a good example to tell here. Among the Fab 4 of Cricket is the Australian batsman, Steve Smith, a phenomenal batsman with 48 centuries across International formats and more than 10000 runs in the Test format. Did you know that Steve Smith’s career in International cricket actually started as a bowler? In 2010, he started his career in T20 as a leg arm spinner, but as time moved, his skills in batting elevated him towards concretising his position as a full time batsman, becoming captain for the Australian team and winning at the big stages. His transition would have been seen as a big decision by many, but he did manage to do such a brilliance at the end that now he is amongst the top batsmen of all times!!
Surely one of the legends this sport will have
I know life is messy and chaotic, but we need to live forward with all the uncertainties and the perceived inadequacies we have. Sometimes, hope is a much better way out of all the issues around. So trust on your abilities that “you do have survived the times and tribulations in past”. You might be in a state of chaos right now, but trust me, 5 years from here on now, when you look back on to this moment, you wouldn’t even remember the sufferings of today, as you laugh off saying, “Why did I cried and mistrusted myself so much?”
Well, that’s a wrap.
I hope you enjoyed reading it!!
PS: This was a suggestion from one of our readers, it is a very proud feeling that I got this opportunity. I really appreciate the people who have been following my content!!
